If you ran competition at any point in your life, you will always compare yourself to what you used to be. It can't be avoided. Yet, decades later, I really have to let that go and be kind to myself along the way.
Yesterday, I ran 6 miles with only a few momentary breaks. I averaged a 9.5 minute mile. When I was 24, I ran my first 10K and averaged a 7.25 minute mile pace over the 6.2 mile course. Then, I had been training for 4 months. I am at the one month mark this week.
I knew this would hurt and wanted to keep the run social and hoped someone would go out quickly with me, but no takers until Sam joined me at the 2.5 mile mark. It was getting hotter by the minute and I wanted to complete ASAP.
In the first mile, I heard some voices behind me chatting away and thought maybe it was my group. When they finally caught and passed me at the second mile mark, I realized they were another running club made of younger adults and it brought back memories. When they passed, one woman commented... "Nice pace." I said "Thanks." Yet, in my mind, I think my shadow (the runner I used to be) is so way ahead and you'll never catch her and neither will I.
In that regard, I envy the folks who never ran before. They don't constantly compare themselves to a standard set decades ago.
Diane! You totally can't compare yourself to your past. You are doing a wonderful job NOW. Embrace it :)
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